Love language - can you speak mine?

for as long as i can remember i've learnt about love language, how it can be generally categorised into 5 types - words, touch, gifts, time and service.

it explains that while we try to express our love n affections in a certain way e.g thru touch, the recipient who does not share the love language of "touch" will not see that gesture as affection. a gf whose love language is time, will not see her bf's showering of gifts as him expressing his affection but rather him being wasteful and spendthrift.

as i observe more n more couples, i realize the idea behind this is correct, but the theory is really too general. more specifically, it is true that we all have different ways of expressing out love, but the saddest thing is when we try out very best to love a person in the way we know how, it just is not good enough for him/her becos he/she fails to "feel" or interpret it as our love. it is just sad. i have a fren Z, who's recently run into some trouble with his partner. Z is the kinda person who really believes in the noble kinda love i.e. if he loves someone, he will give her the freedom to do whatever she wants, even at his expense. he doesnt tell her not to do it, even if he thinks she shdnt, just becos he feels she shd b given the freedom to decide for herself. this gesture of his however, was interpreted as nonchalance, simply becos he doesnt impose or make his "hurt" feelings known.

it's strange, some gals prefer their partner b a little MCP or tell them what to do... maybe it gives them a sense of security or being protected. while some just want to be left alone to exercise the right to freedom.

a relationship shd be one where there is interaction of body, soul and spirit. body - physical attraction, soul - emotional connection aka chemistry and spirit - aka somewhat supernatural harmony. the inability to connect on any of these 3 levels spells trouble for a couple. and i do not believe in congruence at these 3 levels immediately as a r/s begins, neither is there an end to finding that meeting pt along these dimensions. but one connection does not represent an eternal connection. conscious effort must be made to keep the flame burning. and that i feel is the greatest challenge.

wud love to write more but i reali n damn sleepy n i nid to wake up at 7 to go for practice.

and i do hope for those of u out there... work on it, how to love him/her in the way he/she wants... cos he/she's the one u love, not urself. some might not agree with me, but to me, it's more important to love a person the way he wants to be loved, than to love him the way i know how to.